Category: Dating and Relationships
Awhile ago, I made a post about what attracts blind men and I've been getting very interesting responses. It seems that many of their answers are similar and many are what attract me when looking for a male partner. So then I started wondering if the gap is as wide with blind men and women as it is with their sighted counterparts. I've often heard that women are more drawn to verbal, emotional and other things in their partners while men are primarily visually-oriented. So I'm wondering what attracts a blind or severely visually-impaired woman? I mean right away. How do you know who you should "check out" as it were? And in the bedroom, the visual/emotional etc thing continues. For those of you who had vision, do you visualise things when you're with your partner, do you focus more on the emotional aspects, or have other senses or factors taken over that are more on the surface as a replacement for vision? Btw, sexual orientation doesn't matter here or in the other thread. All answers are welcome.
What atracts me to men are their personality, if they are easy to talk to, and can either be funny or share some of the same interests as me. It depends on the guy. Looks don't matter to me, since I am totally blind.
As I first met my husband online I'd have to agree, personality. From the beginning he was acceptionally easy to talk to and we have a lot in common. I don't have any vision either. As far as the bedroom...I don't visualize; I'm enjoying to much to worry about visualization, I just experience. This must be the same way sighted individuals handle it to a degree when the light is turned off. LOL. My husband is very visual...But I'm sure that's rather common with men? Don't know, never asked, never considdered it until this topic...
Yes, the thing that attracts me is the ease with which I can talk to a guy. I like to be able to talk about anything and everything, from the serious and deep to the hilarious, immature stuff. I'm attracted to someone who is a good listener, and who's intellect and sense of humor are at least somewhat similar to my own. Also, voice is a big one for me, though of course it's not everything. Some men I've been with have had hotter voices than others, and I notice this, but it's not the first or most important criteria I judge on. I do notice a guy's physical build too, like when I first hug him. Again, something I notice, and can be attracted by, but not at the top of my list.
I agree with Cattleya when it comes to the bedroom stuff. I'm too busy experiencing and enjoying to visualize. The sound of my partner's voice really drives me crazy there. I think maybe that's what takes the place of visual stimulation for me. Hmmm, never realized that till I wrote this, but I think that's it.
Interesting questions, Tifanitsa. I don't think the gap is as wide as we think, between what attracts us and sighted people. Only difference is, we have to talk to someone more to get to know them, instead of making eye contact across a room. But, a lot of sighted people are meeting online these days too, so that's not so different from many blind folks I know. Online meeting and dating is just becoming more prevalent in general. But again, we actually have to talk to someone, not just look at a photograph of them, and I think that gives us kind of an advantage. There's a misconception out there that blind people aren't as judgmental as sighted ones, but I think that's false. We are, we just use different criteria. But that's a whole other topic. Smile.
Voice is definitely the first thing I notice. Second of all is how they carry on a conversation. Within five minutes, most of the time I can tell if I'll become attracted to a guy or not based upon what and how they discuss certain issues. I'm not really sure how I do this, but it's what happens.
Well, for me, I think voice is a biggy, but personality is to. I learned that even though someone might sound great, they may not have everything in common with you, and if you're having a long distance relationship or if you can see each other enough you've gotta be able to have great communication. I think communication is a big thing. But it's nice to be with someone who you can share anything with, and laugh with, and just be yourself with. I've dated people who tried to just impress me at first, then I really saw the real person after the relationship was a few months down the road, then we had to break it off and that's not fun. I guess since I'm shy at times and kind of a big kid at heart, whoever I'm interested would hopefully except it and not think it's too weird lol. I honestly don't judge by looks. I personally do like bigger men instead of really skinny ones because there's more to cuddle and a big pillow to lay your head on when you need it while you're cuddling. So I guess it could be like a sighted person looking at a picture and saying, oh I like the way this person looks, or I don't. But for the big part, it's mainly personality, common interests, and patience. I'm still hoping I can find Mr. Right someday, because it seems the older you get the harder it is to find what you want, so who knows. Oh yeah, smell is another thing. I like a guy to smell good. I like more sweet colognes, and maybe some woody, but since I'm picky with perfumes and I have lots of sweet and wooddy perfumes, I guess it'd kind of have to be the same. But as long as I like it, I guess that's ok. I hope I'm not being too picky. I've just dated for 13 years, and I've had probably ten different boyfriends over those long 13 years. I just think as long as there's mutual respect, and we treat each other well and get along good, then things should be ok.
his personalitie definitely come first, and everything else come after.
a good personality and have good sense of humour definitely got a tick from me.
as voice goes, well, i suppose there's something you can't change. when you love a person, not only loving his voice, but his all, as a person. no matter how he sound like, you'll authomaticly love it anyway.
as the bed room goes, well, thats basicly something behind the public curtains, as for me, the love and emotional side of things count alot
something not discussed here is smell. besides all the other great stuff you guys have said, if they wear some kind of sexy smell cologne that really helps too.
There are other things I would consider when interested in dating a guy, but, the very first thing that attracts me is voice and/or personality. Things that get my attention are if he is polite, is confident, and is talking about something interesting or seems like he would be interesting to talk with. This would be before I've met him at all. Afterward, it would also include shared values and of course being easy to talk to/fun to be with.